the irony

how ironic, seeing the previous post.

today its the end of everything.

I thought I'd have alot to type here. but it seems I got nothing to say

i love you pee

wtf

wtf I used to enjoy blogging but I don't see myself typing much here anymore....

I'm losing myself manzz.


Alright so today I went to visit my granddad at st andrews community hospital. I think its called that. I think its for those therapy.

So went down and visited him and my aunt came along then my uncle.

all surprised I was there. I don't really like to visit when there's too many people around but their cool.

okay this is just bullshit. I dont want to talk about my day. She told me she had something to tell me tonight while i was at the hospital.

and my heart sank straight away.


so I tried to put that aside for awhile. But really man my heart was sinking and sinking. plus the atmosphere and all i really hated it. im not a wuss man but i really felt like tearing.

alright just now she said the exact same words "I don't want any status attached to it. I don't think we're ready for a full time commitment. Or at least i don't wanna be tied down by it"


man the tied down by it part hit me most.

wtf man. WTF IS GOING ON I DONT KNOW ANYMORE.

if i had a wish.

i would choose between wishing things would get better and wishing i never met her at all.

i'm never gonna put my full energy is anything anymore man. especially a relationship.

this relationship i really put my full into it. my heart my everything.

i dont trust girls man. girl in particular i dont want to act like i know alot lolol. i really hate the way she can just throw me aside.


PLEASE GOD I KNOW I WISHED ALOT OF STUPID THINGS BEFORE LIKE DYING.

but listen to my plea and take me away asap.

CANNOT STUDY ALREADY

Man I've been trying to study for the past 2 hours. Managed to get some stuff in but I'm really at my saturation already.

and I'm supposed to be the one encouraging her to study.

So I think I'll stop now and tell her at 1 that I cannot study already.



Life has been tough on me man. I can feel the weight of my burden materializing into something physical. Do you even understand what i mean. Something in my mind can take a physical toll on my body.

hold on I shall use this ability to get drunk now



I guess its gonna take more practice for that to happen.

So lets see whats interesting to post here. current updates on life.

err studies kinda shaky yes. Alot of stuff I dont quite understand. but i don't bother telling people about it already

1. if i tell my friends

"jer dont bluff la you have difficulty studying"

2. tell my parents

"sleep early play less computer"

seriously i starting to think sleep early play less computer is a template to them when they dont know what to say.

hey mum i think i falling sick

"sleep earlier and play less computer"

hey I had a weird disturbance last night i felt something pushing down on me

"sleep earlier and play less computer"

wtf everything can also blame and sleep early and play less computer. tips n tricks to being a parent.

in the future if you don't know what to say use this model answer.

so it was 08 08 08 just now

and i spent the 08 pm sleeping.

who the hell cares about auspicious and all that. Do you guys even believe in this. maybe has abit of romantic effect la once in a life time right and all that.

but the truth is 2009 09 09 also will come

2010 10 10 also will come. YOU TELL ME EVERY YEAR YOU GONNA GET MARRIED?

and besides if you believe this, its the seventh month.

so a negative will balance the positive making this an ordinary day.


alright i'm gonna stop here.

toodles hahahahaha

oh my god

oh my god i can't believe i made this blog when i was drunk. i seriously dont remember clearly how i could still get online.

wtf i wont forever be there? is my english that bad when i'm high. i thought at least i'd put i wont be there forever or something better sounding.

but oh well might as well use it.


so today i had my gems presentation which went well. and i'm feeling good about it. i think i'm gonna drink tonight if nothing crops up.

hope i don't have to deal with any problems like someone wanted to club or something.

i really need less of those damnit.

and something weird happened to me in school today. i cant even tell pris about it.

alright blog later gonna watch anime then sleep.


lonely ah lonely

intoxicated

haha as i am typing this i am extremely intoxicated.

i drank half a bottle of rum and i'm damn high now.

dont ask me why i put this blog url or something.

i know i'm gonna regret tmr but HAHAHA WHO CARES.

I RELY ON NO ONE IN THIS WORLD MAN