wtf

wtf I used to enjoy blogging but I don't see myself typing much here anymore....

I'm losing myself manzz.


Alright so today I went to visit my granddad at st andrews community hospital. I think its called that. I think its for those therapy.

So went down and visited him and my aunt came along then my uncle.

all surprised I was there. I don't really like to visit when there's too many people around but their cool.

okay this is just bullshit. I dont want to talk about my day. She told me she had something to tell me tonight while i was at the hospital.

and my heart sank straight away.


so I tried to put that aside for awhile. But really man my heart was sinking and sinking. plus the atmosphere and all i really hated it. im not a wuss man but i really felt like tearing.

alright just now she said the exact same words "I don't want any status attached to it. I don't think we're ready for a full time commitment. Or at least i don't wanna be tied down by it"


man the tied down by it part hit me most.

wtf man. WTF IS GOING ON I DONT KNOW ANYMORE.

if i had a wish.

i would choose between wishing things would get better and wishing i never met her at all.

i'm never gonna put my full energy is anything anymore man. especially a relationship.

this relationship i really put my full into it. my heart my everything.

i dont trust girls man. girl in particular i dont want to act like i know alot lolol. i really hate the way she can just throw me aside.


PLEASE GOD I KNOW I WISHED ALOT OF STUPID THINGS BEFORE LIKE DYING.

but listen to my plea and take me away asap.